I can not sleep. As days go by I seem to stay up later and later and I do nothing but think. I try and amuse myself by selling things on ebay, by writing, by going out with friends, watching TV or movies,eating, but nothing fills the void that I have. In the past months I have gone through thoughts of everything from sleeping with women to well, sleeping with women. Whatever that means. My theory is that women are beautiful and safe.

I am so tired of people who do not see the beauty of life, who do not reach for their dreams, or who simply have lost them. And I am tired of men who have forgotten their dreams, meet me and want to capture part of my energy, be a part of me. Think I am the answer.

There is no middle ground, only the extreme and I am in love with the extremities of life,and yet am not able to live them.

Sense my frame of mind in these writings. Me and a keyboard, the snow falling lightly outside and only the sound of my breath, the heat of this laptop on my lap and the click of the keys on the keyboard to keep me company.

If I close the top of this laptop it will be but me and the darkness, and perhaps I will dream of what I need, what needs to be.

v.