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moon phases
 
The beginning
written @ 1:03 a.m. on 2003-03-31

The Young Divorcee.

Nobody can possibly imagine what it is to be a young divorcee. Suddenly you have the freedom to do the things you always wanted, to find your dreams to live your life and happiness and relief fill you heart. And at the same time a sadness seeps in because with all your freedom, happiness, and new found love of life you realize you have no one to share it with.

You seek friendship, attention, new people, old friends and in all of it you find the fun you seek. But when you have found it you become afraid because suddenly you feel that people are watching you judging you, wanting you because you are free. And being free you are afraid to delve into a relationship too soon, to mislead others into thinking that is what you seek. Inevitably those you surround yourself with all suddenly become threats as you worry that they will fall in love with you, make moves on you and you will have to decline, only to lose the friendship and companionship you are trying to find. Men who were once friends in the safe haven of your marriage, are now waiting in the sidelines, stepping up for the person they never thought might be.

And so everything is difficult and complicated and nothing is as it seems.

a minute, an hour, a day ago || or there is always later