I was writing an email to a friend, and I thought it was so terrible, it was worthy of posting in an online journal. 9Would you believe I actually edited out the more cynical and sarcastic parts so as not to be too much of a downer?)

Its certainly not poetic, but I put it here as a sort of social commentary on what I think may be the state of the masses, which I can say I am sorry to have experienced for the first time today.

Thoughts from work 9am to 10:45am:

1. I hate this job

2. I hate this industry

3. These people are so stupid

4. I want to stab myself in the eye with a pencil (this thoughtand visualizing it relieved me of my misery for several minutes)

5. How can this guy do this day in and day out.

6. Oh my god, this is a nightmare. The only thing worse than watching/listening to this guy do his job would be to actually leave this training hell and go do mine.

7. these people are trying to suck me into the misery which has become their existence. (this last thought was repeated in my head over and over again - despite attempts to stop it - for the remaining time leading to the 10:45 break.)

By lunch time I managed to perfect the ability to appear as if I was listening, while being lost in my own world.

What was really interesting was that not only did I feel like the above, but I also looked it because on two occaisions my "supervisor" made comments like "boy this one is a happy one" and "you look horrible, are you not well?".

I *so* wanted to express: "yeah, this job sucks what the hell are you people doing, get me the hell out of here, what do you expect!" but, as the thoughts ran though my mind, I just said that I was just sick/tired.

I have nothing nice to say. My instinct was right on this job from the first day. In cases like this I really hate being right -

until later when happier thoughts may cross this page...

I truely TRUELY wish you all more than that.

Dont put up with it, my gawd, its some sort of sick hell out there.

~v.