"Wandering far enough to forget a leash..."

This could have many meanings depending on who is reading this. (smile)

I think that often when one must flee home repeatedly to feel free it is only a symptom that something at home must actually be fixed before any positive progression of the soul may occur.

What is the hardest is facing the fear of what is actually there. Facing what it is at home that is wrong.

Leaving is only a temporary solution, a breathing ground to get away and maybe learn something new; something more to apply when returning. -Possibly the answers: how to deal with the problem that is really beneath it all upon return. Tools.

However, unsuccessful research only renders the return more stressful, more painful and frustrating, because then again there you are. No further than where you began. The key: make every voyage and escape worth the trip, every experience worth the record; even if just a smile - a smile can be worth everything. And then renergized - the battle may resume.

In my opinion, I should write "humble", every experience has its worth. Every torture has its rewards...

If only we could unravel the mysteries of what plague us in some deep, insightful revelation of our being we could all be happy.

But would everything being happy really be happy at all?

I suppose I try and embrace all that is. A struggle as a challenge, a stepping stone to the end which will undoubtedly see happiness. Without the struggle, there would be no reward.

So, with all this said, I will retire because I fear in this entry I must sound like I am lit - and sadly ( i think) I am not.

"Inspiration", trash or stoner like ramble. A diary will hopefully forgive or accept it all.

~v.